Monday, July 6, 2009

Noticing an unwillingness to accept...

Lately I am getting back into yoga and meditation at the start of my day, thanks to inspiration from my sis. There truly is something nurturing and calming about paying attention to the breath (life itself) and simply being and noticing it.

In some respects, my life situation is taking its sweet time sorting itself out peacefully and productively in the wake of Mom's passing. In other ways, it marches on right on schedule. Some changes this journey brings are most unwelcome. It has been eye-opening to learn about myself how difficult it can be to accept life as it comes. Logically, what can be done besides accepting what is? Somehow within me there is a lot of strong refusal to accept certain aspects of reality. It is a curious thing to observe.

Here's what I read about that in Jon Kabat-Zinn's Full Catastrophe Living:
"If you are mindful as emotional storms occur, perhaps you will see in yourself an unwillingness to accept things as they already are, whether you like them or not. Perhaps that part of you that does see this has, in one way or another, already come to terms with what has happened or with your situation. Perhaps, at the same time, it recognizes that your feelings still need to play themselves out, that they are not ready to accept or to calm down, and that this is all right."