Do you ever feel overwhelmed? There seem to be so many important ways to spend energy... Ways to support the family, a moral code and knowledge to impart to the children, ways to nourish our connection to God, ways to keep the home clean and running effectively, ways to better the business, ways to feed the soul, ways to nutritiously feed the family, ways to exercise the body, ways to nourish bonds with loved ones outside the nucleus, ways to be a good neighbor and compassionate citizen, ways to create and express what is within, ways to have fun, learn, enjoy life and explore the wide world: So many things to do!! And really, it may be more accurate to say, 'So many things I'm supposed to do!' Expectations of society and self add intensity to the feeling.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by it all. Sometimes I fill ill prepared, and without forward momentum. I wake up with a focused, strong energy, and it seems within minutes it is swept away in the huge, roaring maelstrom, and I feel diluted and ineffective. Often I make lists in the morning, soon after waking, and again whenever a clear idea hits me--so I can remember what is most important, what struck me when my focus was keen.
When overwhelmed, within me the urge is very strong to escape. Set all worry aside for something that would be relaxing or fun or absorb my focus enough to take me to another place. Giving in to this urge is only a temporary fix, what truly brings relief is to wade in, stand strong against the current and accomplish something concrete. Otherwise I can get swept out to sea, spinning, reactive, and at the end of the day with a strong sense that I did not seize it. The days not seized can add up in my mind if I am not careful and become a weight. Not something to anchor, but something to upset the balance.
It is clear to me in times like these that I need to get centered again. There is a very real comfort in just being, and acknowledging the beauty and power of existing. Not judging, not feeling inadequate, just being. At times yoga and meditation feel like just another thing I'm supposed to do. But the practice never fails to center me, give me strength and peace, and focus my energy again.